A Year Within Three Days

I'm not an overly-sensitive man. Really, I'm not. Sure, I shed a tear during emotional moments of House Hunters on HGTV and occasionally when a cat is rescued from a litter of 20, but other than that, I'm pretty steeled to the absurdities of life. It's not how I was born, it's how I've been molded.

I don't give credit to anyone in my life for having shaped me. I am who I am. I made myself who I am. I am the product of my own mistakes and successes.

Now, let me elaborate and perjure myself.

I nearly lost all that matters in life, at least to me, this week. I won't elaborate on the appointed court appearance that I leveled against my ex-wife in order to gain more time with my son. I won't elaborate on the near-loss of the love of my life over having settled that court appearance for a slim if none chance at having a relationship with my son. That's my elaboration.

I won't elaborate on the near-instant mindshift of career-change when the woman who believed in me and hired me left her position due to being overworked and underappreciated.

I won't elaborate on the unconditional love and acceptance of a mother, father, sister and wife who, despite my faults, continue to accept a bouncy bi-polar man into their lives without judgement.. Ok, so maybe that is worth elaboration..

I won't elaborate on a cold-hearted ex-wife who sees my attempts to regain a relationship with my children as an attempt to tarnish her gold-plated exterior image.

What I will expound upon is my gratitude for everything that I've just mentioned. This week has been the epitome of the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. And, I appreciate it.

Why Jeff? Why would you say such things?

Well, garsh dangit,, because I'm now a stronger person. I don't need to curse to show I'm a strong person. I've done enough of that for an army of fuckin' afghans in a poppy field under friendly fire... No, I'm stronger because I made choices that made me stronger even though those choices showed weakness. I'm stronger because I won. I won my inner war, Not the war with an ex. Not the war with ungrateful children. Not the war with anyone other than myself. I won the war within myself. I finally beat the cancer which is fear and uncertainty.

No one will understand this, but I won the war that is me. I won myself back. I'm my own Guam.. It took too much money and too many arguments and a few too many tears but I'm me again. Despite my bi-polar mind, I'm me and I'm proud of being me and no one can take that from me.

By now you're asking, "Where's the funny part?" I always have a funny part. It's where it's always been. Just ask my wife.

I win again.