One Man's Stink Bug

Stewie was confused. This new abode was a far cry from the promised land he'd been heard about. 'This is America', he thought, 'not the land of 'chi' and slanted views of those who preceded me in the far east' ...

Stewie grasped tightly to the breadcrumb lodged against the wall of the large picture window. Trying to find a place to call his own, he settled upon the name of the cramped quarters that was labeled "NOSYD" on the window. Balls of wadded fiber padded his setting. A chill slowed his mind and limbs yet enough warmth was provided by the padding within his new cylindrical home to ensure safe passage through the bitter winter months.

This new perspective inspired Stewie to reflect upon his existence. One pregnant relative in Shanghai booked passage to Guang Dong yet ended up in Baltimore Harbor, Maryland. Mother Nature doesn't wait for a pregnant lady. Three days later, two thousand babies are born. Six months later, an extended family of several million are scattered along the mid-Atlantic.

Stewie wondered where his hundreds of siblings were living as he gazed through the clouded window of his new home. How he found this home was a mystery in itself.

"Let me think about this"... Stewie thought. "One second, I'm doing a mating dance for women who look just like me and the next minute I'm getting sucked.... sucked right into a swirling vortex that was both exciting, frightening and strangely erotic."

Then, from an approaching voice ...

..... "Damn, these fuckers are annoying. They just won't die and when they do, they stink like Hell. DYSON needs to develop a filter to eliminate Stink Bug odor....ugly bastards too ..."

"What?" Stewie thought... "What is a Stink Bug? I don't smell anything..."

*Flush*

Circle of life ... Hakuna Matata.