A Day Like Any Other

Just a day .... like any other. Some are good, some are really good. Some are bad, some suck, But, they're all nothing more than ticks on a clock, a day lasting no more than 24 hours.

I just happened to wonder what my son is doing today. In his 2nd week of college, undoubtedly still getting aquianted with his surroundings, meeting new people... overcoming fears.
I remember my first days away from home. I was fortunate though that both of my parents were just a single phone call away. My son... is two phone calls away ... and I'm not in either call. I miss my boy. I miss his smile. I miss his laugh.... and I miss his trust he had in me. I'd give every last quarter I've saved to make is life easier as he transitions from childhood to adulthood. But, he doesn't want my help, my concern or my love.

Funny thing is... he's just like me. An individual with short-sighted vision and a hard headed mentality bent on proving a point to everyone and especially to ones who hurt him.

That's ok. I can live with that. I can live with his snubbing me just as I have learned to live with my daughter snubbing me. But can they live with the knowledge that their snubbing doesn't stop me, despite all of my faults, and boy oh boy do I have faults, from loving and caring for them and being there for them no matter what life may bring their way?

You read my blog.... you know I'm a pretty messed up guy in many ways. My thinking doesn't adhere to most people's standards. That's ok with me. I'm not alive to adhere to anyone individuals' standards. Nor are any one of us ...

But, despite my faults, despite my thinking when it comes to life, religion, politics... whatever.... I love my son... and my daughter.

It's just another day.... another day without a response to a text, or a call that I've sent my kids. A day like any other. But even my mind, my crazy, bipolar, 'out there' mind, looks at every day... every day as the day my phone might buzz twice with a text reply to my reaching out....

I don't stop living knowing I'm despised. I live harder hoping to overcome the past.

Sorry to disappoint those expecting a humorous post, but hey, humor keeps me alive, so as I write this I have 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" playing in my head .... that, and I woke up this morning with the unexplicable repitition of the 'Gilligan's Island' theme song resounding through my noggin....

That said.... I love you, Avery and Anna. And no matter what happens in your lives, no matter what you may need, I'm here. Just like Robinsin Crusoe, as primitive as can be.....