Allow Me to Piss You Off....

"A horse is a horse, of course of course, and no one can talk to a horse of course, that is of course, unless the horse, Is the famous Mister Ed!
Go right to the source and ask the horse. He'll give you the answer that you'll endorse. He's always on a steady course. Talk to Mister Ed......"

These are, most likely (at least in my mind), the last english-spoken words heard in the bin Laden home before the theme to "S.W.A.T" richocheted throughout the sand-filled living room in the Bud Abbottsbad townhome of the most reviled man in the world. So yeah, I live vicariously through music...

You see, there was no cable TV... no internet... no hi-def connection to the latest Hollywood,secular devil fare available to the most-wanted. hate and devious being ever to walk the planet.. aside from Mel Gibson, of course. This is Pakistan, after all. In Pakistan, high speed internet is heard with audible screeches resembling frogs in heat on a warm spring evening ... dial-up modems in a tandem chorus.

Bada Boom, Bada Bing, Blam Blam Deep Six Ya Sam ... Drop the popcorn and count the virgins, Mr. Ed isn't the only big-lipped mouthpiecs that was silenced by network censors...

I ramble about the bin Laden killing because, well, it means nothing to me. Nada. I'll even venture to say that to most of those with a brain able to reach beyond the surface, the killing was inconsequential.

Here's how I see it ... Obie is sitting at home with his wives, tub of unbuttered popcorn on his lap, about to watch the third season of Mr. Ed on VHS. Obie's men have sent smoke signals, luckily intercepted by our CIA experts, claiming that his NetFlix shipment of 'American Pie' videos are en route ...
Obie loosens his turban, hits the play button on the VHS when suddenly, *knock knock", a rap at the door.

"Yes?"

"NetFlix" ... is the reply.. "Delivery for Fred Phelps Jr."...

As shuffle here, a scuttle there ... "ka blam, ka boom"... instant peace and retribution for a country scorned.

Read between my lines and you get a tongue in cheek rehash of the bin Laden killing. As you might surmise, I'm not impressed. Why, you ask? Let me elaborate...

Bin Laden brought fear to most through a network of extermists who touched the lives of few. Face it, al Queda is a pussy organization on the scale of Fred Phelps hate-mongering. We can either choose to listen and fear or ignore and live. Suuure, this man orchestrated a horrendous crime which not only killed thousands of Americans but also instilled fear into the hearts of those who believed in the safety and security of being residents of America.

Gut check.

Osama bin Laden is not our terrorist enemy. Yeah, he was a bad guy... we all need a bad guy to focus on... a face to equate with evil... I often put my ex-wife in a turban and white beard ... but hey, does that make it any more real? Maybe, at least for me ... but for America? Nah...

If you want to eliminate terrorism in America, storm the homes of the big bankers and oil men... I want to see the SEALS bringing justice to the real terrorists who are bringing America to it's knees. Storm the homes of Bank of America execs... big oil chairmen, Wall Street financiers...

Let the bullets fly without fear of reprisal. After all, these are the fuckers who are killing our people. Not some bearded man who is a figurehead for an ideal. Religious ideals will never be eradicated. Nor will greed. Yet, greed will always triumph.

Jeezus, Jeff, you sound like you're preachin'...

Me? Never. I just call 'em as I see 'em. And, as I see 'em, I'm a red-blooded American who sees a reason for those not financially fortunate to understand the hatred of others towards people just like me.

I'm not afraid of al Queda or any other extremist group... not in the least.

I fear the majority. And that majority sits under a dome in our nation's capitol. That majority is the terrorist group who holds me, and you hostage. I'm not un-American, I'm just realistic. Bin Laden could never withhold my healthcare benefits ... just sayin'...

'A horse is a horse, of course of course,

and no one can talk to a horse of course,
that is of course, unless the horse,
Is the famous Mister Ed! ........"