I consider myself young at heart.
I might be way off base, but I can still relate to those in their teens through those in their thirties as well as my own generation, 40's, which I elect to refer to as 'matured' ... like a banana. A bit browned, ripe and ready to enjoy. My banana skin is easy to peel and the fruit is ripe and tasty .... (Robin, imagine a clam... (( for my best lesbian friend)) ) Now, please direct your attentions away from my abnormally large manhood ... (Yeah, I had to elaborate). ...
I recently re-entered the workforce as a provider of vice. Although I'd like to say I am now a gigolo commanding top dollar for my services, I must fess up and admit that I am no more than a humble bartender ... liqouring up patrons for my own benefit through my superior service and wit .,.. yes, I'm a whore, prospering from the inebriated masses .... Got a prblem with that? No? Good... Yes? Then move on ... hypocrite.
Yet, I'm able to see myself in those I serve .... the weaknesses, the fears, the hurts. I am able to see the inner workings of my own psyche with every drink I pour. For example... the young woman who returns to the bar asking for wine... smiling broadly as she tries to cover her tears when she asks for another glass of wine... no one sees her inner beauty in her eyes...
The man in his sixties who drinks scotch in order to bring a reaction to his wife's face ... reclaiming a moment of uninhibited laughter as a song touches a memory ... she stares at her shoes.
The young man who believes that his uninhibited actions will bring him love and lust, despite his mismatched clothing and awkward gazes ...
Nothing escapes me. I'm sober now, sorta ... I'm on the un-lit end of the wick. Guess what.... I kinda like it. No, I don't necessarily enjoy seeing you making a fool of yourself on the dancefloor. Yeah, I do. Duh.
What I do enjoy is seeing you make a fool of yourself on the dancefloor. I love it. I live for it.
It's not the inebriated side of you that I admire, it's the side of you that the inebriation exposes. I once thought that I couldn't relate to 'normal' people unless I brought myself down a notch through substances ... I still have that belief, to an extent... hell, there are some dumb fuckin' people out there... but, I have grown a bit, learned some things and accepted some truths.
I imagine that my thoughts and beliefs are right in line for a good bartender. I don't know ... but, I'll tell you this ... if I can't remember what liquors make up your requested drink, I'll tell you. But, if you tell me your name, I'll remember. Every vice has a face and every face has a name ...
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