"UUUUUUUUUUUUugggggggggggggggggggggHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"pppppppppppppppfffffffffTTTT..... HeHeHeHe..."
"OhOhOhOhOh... UGGGGGhhhhhhhhUUUgggHHhhhHHhhGGG"
*Splurt*
"Wah Wah Wah, Blah, Blah. Blah"
A baby is born.
And that's the way it was, and that's the way it pretty much sounds.... well, minus the sound of an accompanying, spiraling turd being laid on the sheets as the final push to the finish line produces the result of a moment of drunken sex. Oh, for the good 'ol days when sounds of gratitude emanated from the lungs of one created during that moment of drunken love.
Quite honestly, I can better remember the sound of my child's mother's LaMaze breathing and subsequent turd-laying in the bed as my daughter was being hatched as I can the last words my daughter said to me before she dismissed me as a father.
Quite sad, you might say. Not so much, I reply. Let me elaborate. Stay with me, laugh with me, cry with me, cry for me, hate me, if you must.
You see, today I learned that my daughter married someone. I have no idea who the 'someone' is. I've never met him. I learned that she also has graduated from hair-cutting school. I know, there's a term for hair-cutting school, but I don't know what it is... suffice it to say, she's a hair'ologist.
Most might dismiss these revelations as 'yeah, so what?' events. High Five and Fist Bumps, bros. Me too.
Sounds harsh, but I'm not too shocked.
I'll be chastised and reprimanded out the ass for what I'm about to say but I'm a bit fond of ass play so here we go ...
To my daughter ... it won't last. Sure, a father is supposed to say, "I wish you happiness and a long life together... yada yada yada"... Nah, ain't gonna happen. Of course I wish you happiness, sorta. The same happiuness you wish upon those you love... Welcome to life, my daughter, I hope it finds you well ... hehe. You're 20 years old. You have no clue who you are, no less what you need. Shame on those who allowed you to be married.... which brings me to...
Satan.....
You weren't dismissed and abandoned without good reason... by the way, I found your missing Mercedes key.... I'm selling it on eBay. I'll trade it for the 19 years we were married. In any case...
You know, I wasn't as stung by the notice of my daughter's wedding as I thought I might be. Sure, every father dreams of walking his daughter down the aisle on her wedding day... I'm no exception.
Yet, I'm also now immune to hurt and unnecessary pummeling by those who continually wish to extol vindication upon me for my actions that allowed me to express my individuality. I'm like a chicken pox virus in a pediatric ward ... full of bumps and pain but held at bay by a shot of medicine ... You, my children, are my medicine...
you, and your pox of a mother ....
I do wish my daughter well... I really do... just as I know she wishes me well.... and just as I know she wishes her grandparents well.... ....
Yeah, like that ....
I'm nothing if not reciprocal ...
You need to quit blaming ur ex and ex-inlaws for your children's distaste for you and man up for ur lack of having a meaningful relationship with them. Yes,divorce is hard on everyone involved, but you need to quite whining!
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