Tuesday, November 10, 2015

PC - It's not the Intelligent Concept You'd Expect

As Popeye would say, 'That's all I can stands, I can't stands no more!'

The point of no return is on the horizon and, in this case, the world is flat. Humankind is teetering on the edge of insanity (get it?)

This in no way has anything to do with computers. If only. No, this PC is an acronym. Acronyms, by the way, cost taxpayers millions of dollars. The US government has an entire arm of the executive branch whose sole purpose is to create acronyms for everything from toilet paper to nuclear annihilation.

In any case, let us ruminate a moment on the overwhelming insanity of the rapidly increasing acceptance of Political Correctness. This PC is a scourge on humankind. Well, at the very least it is the scourge of free thinking, rational individuals.

Normally, I overlook the instances of political correctness as I do not subscribe to the PC mentality in any way, shape or form. However, the recent inane, insane and idiotic reaction by a group of PC adherents to the color of Starbuck's holiday coffee cups caused a switch to flip in my mind.

I'll admit, I say 'Merry Christmas.' It's not because I'm all about the religious significance. I'm fully aware that the holiday has deep-rooted pagan traditions and that Jesus wasn't born on December 25th.
I say, 'Merry Christmas' because I grew up saying it. I have always called Christmas, Christmas. Just like I always watch 'Charlie Brown's Christmas' and 'A Christmas Story.'

It doesn't bother me when people say 'Happy Holidays' and it sure as a charred Yule log doesn't insult me, my heritage or my spirituality when a coffee house decides to dole out sub-par, overly pungent coffee in red 'holiday' cups.

Ri-damn-diculous. Even more ridiculous than the uproar over Halloween costumes. One mustn't dare wear a sombrero lest a native Mexican cry foul. Or, heaven forbid a costume resembles Sitting Bull or a Native American squaw. That there is grounds for a lynchin'.

Oops... Better not use any word remotely, though inadvertently referencing anything that would offend the African American community either.
Basically, at Halloween, the only safe costume choices are Disney characters and ghosts. Although, ghosts could be mistaken for Grand Wizards of the KKK. Nix that costume idea too.

What is happening here is more frightening than Granny Clampett in a nude photo spread.

The PC culture is basically creating a nation of individuals who can't express their own individuality. I'm not saying that there shouldn't be standards of decency and common sense. However, when we become so concerned that a costume or a coffee cup is going to offend someone, we die a little. Guess what? Some time, somewhere, someone will be offended by something that we do, say, wear or think.
There is no universal standard for toe-stepping and there shouldn't be.

This country is already resembling a gaggle (flock, school, herd, whatever) of lemmings that do not think for themselves. Hell, if you want proof, look at Donald Trump's standing in the polls for the GOP presidential nomination.

There is a difference in purposely offending someone, a culture, a minority or lifestyle simply due to ignorance or bigotry and offending someone because you say 'Happy Holidays' or 'Merry Christmas' or choose to dress as a Native American on Halloween. Hell, I'm a Caucasian man. I suppose I should be offended by the Jason costume with white mask at Halloween but I believe that the NHL has dibs on that offense.

Lighten up, people. You're squashing your very own freedoms that you claim to be defending.

In the meantime, I'll be looking forward to watching the Carolina Panthers as they play the Washington Redskins. I sure do hope that the ASPCA or PETA doesn't lobby to change the Panther's team name.

Yours Truly,

Cracker Whitebread

Monday, May 25, 2015

A Most Unusual Question

Wow. I feel as if I've fallen into a wormhole and fell onto an old friend. 

It's been quite a long while since my last Yelp. The closet now has an LED lighting array. There are no cobwebs or dirty mops in the corner. Someone did one helluva job tidying this closet. 

Quite a few years have passed since I first began YelpsFromTheCloset. From the beginning, this blog was created as an outlet for me to unburden myself from my hurt, anger, resentments, self-loathing.... you get the picture. Yelps was the dumpster and the words I was writing were the leftover Dim Sum in styrofoam containers. What a tumultuous time it was. It seems like a dream. A strange, surreal dream jam packed with life lessons needing to be deciphered. 

So much has changed since that time. Oddly, what began as a personal outlet for me morphed into something else, something good. People, yes, you people, began following my Yelps. This little closet was getting larger. Readers of my inane ramblings spanned the globe and every continent. Thank you all... there were thousands who were reading each entry. I was lambasted by some. That's not a problem. Not all of my words were meant to be all 'happy happy joy joy' and I certainly deserved some of the lambastation (I know, that's not a word.). 

What surprised me most of all was that my words were helping others. I wasn't alone. With that surprise came a sobering realization: My words aren't just mine. They were and are the words of many, many others and they provided laughs, tears and hope. 

My life has changed more times than Cher's wardrobe in concert. I sincerely hope that what I've written in the past has provided help or hope to at least one person. 

I've been directed to tell my story. Well, I've been directed to write a book detailing a personal, lifelong transformation. Yelps has been a part of the story. 

If anything that you've read here in the last several years has made any difference in your story, please let me know. Seriously, I want to know. I'll include the impact of Yelps in your world in my book, if you'd like. 

It's been a helluva ride. The rollercoaster is slowing towards the platform but the thrills are far from over. There is another group jumping into the seats. Don't get into the front car, trust me on this.