Monday, July 23, 2012

Well now, was I ever called down to reality?

It seems that perhaps my brain speaks before consulting my fingers. You see, I type with two fingers, the index finger on my left hand that is perfectly normal and the index finger on my right hand that shows the signs of a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling.... lumpy, deformed and probably still encasising a bit of brick from a punch to a wall for some reason I still cannot recall.

I've been told lately that my writings have been cynical, angry and maybe a bit indicative of oncoming mania. Despite my objections, I know enough to take what I'm told both seriously and with a grain of salt due to my past experience with mania. Mania.... what a wonderful, yet unsettling state of mind.

I'm not angry, I'm frustrated. I'm not cynical, I'm honest and forthcoming with my opinions. I'm not manic, either. Mania has a way of sending me to jail, the mental hospital, the ER and on tangents that alienate everyone.

I'm just me. A forty-eight-year-old man with quite an active mind, a bag full of opinions and a disdain for the system that seemingly holds control over an individual's life.

An anonymous responder quite aptly pointed out in my last blog entry that maybe it isn't all about being an individual as it is about being a member of a team, albeit possibly a losing team. A valid point to be sure. But what if the leader of that team, despite talent, training and all the right moves, still manages to undermine the team? It's when that realization hits that a low chop block from behind on my own team leader, a supposed star, is in order.

Don't misunderstand, I am all about team harmony and cohesiveness. Afterall, that's what makes our world liveable. But when a leader undermines the many for the sake of self, well, then, chop block from behind. Take out the knees and push the head to the turf and hope that the concussion reverses the self-important thinking that puts the masses in the crosshairs of authority's directives.

Anonymous had it right, in a perfect world. But this isn't a perfect world and the corporate world is a battleground that requires body armor and a mind of steel. What Anonymous said to me spoke to me. But a team requires a leader worthy of respect and it seems that those type leaders are few and far between. I admire Anonymous. I know Anonymous. I wish I could have the resolve and dedication that Anonymous exhibits.

But, alas, I'm a doubter. I trust no one who smiles, gives me an answer and promises to be in my corner when I know that their corner contains a bonus and recognition for doing just the opposite of what promises I've just received. It's the corporate world. It's the political world and often, but not in my case, it's the personal world as it pertains to relationships.

Am I cynical? Damn straight. Do I have a bit of a reason to be cynical? Absolutely. Should you, we, be wary of those who seem to have our best interests at heart? Of course. Is everyone who seems to have our best interests at heart a lying, smiling, unethical person worthy of cynicism? Absolutely not. No way.

There are good people who care out there. They might not look the way you expect them to look, speak the way you expect them to speak or elaborate on their intentions in a clear and concise manner. But, they're out there. Not on TV usually and not in political endorsements and certainly not on FOX News, but they're out there.

Anonymous know that is the case and has called me to the mat on it. Sure, I'm cynical and a wee bit disenchanted with not only my life but life in general. Yet, it sometimes takes a faceless, nameless opinion and calling out to point out the inconsistencies of life as well as the mistakes in judgement that we all ocassionally make.

Is Anonymous perfect? No. Am I always right? Uh, nah. But can we all learn from a word or two from another? Absolutely.

I still have a problem with suits and their sense of superiority. But I also now see another side of the team spirit.

Chop Block, team cheer, and final victory.


Oh yeah, and Holy Shit.

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