It's been quite a while since I've fingered my thoughts to the keyboard.
I needed a break. Not really, I got a new job and didn't want my new employers to read my drivel. Now, they can read my drivel and hopefully learn something.
What is ironic is that my drivel isn't a pile of bullshit. My 'employers' can take that as they please... along with my investment of $4 grand and my hopes and dreams of a lifetime of prosperity. I was taken, hook, line and sinker because at my age and with the circumstances surrounding my life, they told me what I wanted to hear.
I'm smarter than that. I think so.
Right now, I'm no so sure. I'm a desperate man. I have a wife to support as she contemplates retirement and I have no real skill or talent to fulfill my obligation to her and to myself.
I've done well at everything I've ever undertaken. But now, at 50, I look back at who I was and who I am and I seriously wonder if I've peaked. Do I have anything else to contribute?
Without going into detail, not long ago, my wife Pam exhibited extreme depression. It looks different on her. Her comment was, "I just don't to wake up in the morning." I found it interesting that she felt that way because I have felt that way every night for years now but I don't exhibit the signs of depression tha accompany that mindset.
I know for certain that there is much more here.... and there. My latest job fiasco was a learning experience. My real passion and the meaning of my being here is in my head. The problem is that it brings little money although it holds the hands of those who need help.
Bottom line, I'm a nobody, no name person with a mission. Isn't that what we all are meant to be?
Hollywood has made us buy into the idea that to 'be somebody' means our names in lights and millions in the bank. It's a lie. All of us are somebody. Including you. Stop looking at what you don't have. See what you do have.ReplyDelete