I'm proud to be a heterosexual male with quasi-homoerotic-leaning tendencies to the left.... like a Leaning Tower of Penis....
Tonight I had a gourmet dinner with my bebe, her ex-husband, two yappy chihuahas, a rather slow-witted labrador retiever and four vocal and fun-loving lesbians.
Conversation centered upon sex, picking one's nose with her own tongue and a spirited dialogue involving midgets and dwarves. Somewhere in there was family talk... one guest elaborated on her mother's sexual prowess and suggested that my bebe's ex take advantage of his youthful appearance and placate momma's burning bush of desire.
You might say, "Sure, Jeff.... just another day in the life of one life yourself who courts dissention and bizarre experiences..."
Nay... Nay, I say. This was a night unlike any other. Tonight I fully grasped my lesbianism and my appreciation for love and acceptance. I also found a woman with a wit worthy, if not better, than my own.
A group of seven included myself and one other male... my bebe's ex-husband.... and four unadulterated, unabashedly, uncensored lesbians.
Conversation started innocently enough... "Hey, you ever been to the local Swingers club? Do they have people doing it on the tables?" The question was directed to Me and my bebe and her ex.... I suppose that because we all showed up together it was assumed we were into the swinging scene. Not the case.... ewww...
"Ya know, having sex seven times a day is normal for us....."
Well, duh. There are no penises involved.
"We've been together for five years...."
"My friends 'so and so' have been together for twenty-four years..."
"I am myself, she is herself and we are ourselves...."
Amid the laughter and potty humor, which I thoroughly enjoyed and participated in, I gained a new appreciation for humanity.
I witnessed the one seemingly insecure (or unsure) straight man in the group tighten his sphincter and withdraw as those secure with themselves caused me to laugh to the point of tears as they poked fun at themselves and accepted me without predjudice. And no, I wasn't the insecure straight man.... but, I did witness that man loosen his grip on his anus as he was pressed to be himself, just as those surrounding him had done years prior.
I love to make people laugh. I get a rush from making people laugh. Squirt a tear in laughter from something I say and I'm inclined to go on until you are dehydrated. Rarely does anyone elicit that response from me... it takes an aire of ego, self-confidence, self-awareness and love for self and others to properly elicit a laugh at ones own expense....
Tonight, I shed a tear in laughter and watched as those who are usually shunned by society did the same. I was then one with all... and I was part of their humanity as thyey were part of mine.
Too bad we can't all spend a night with robin, Lisa, Vic and Jen .... we'd all be better for the experience.
By the way, Vic has posted an ad on Craigslist in search of a midget without a lesbian bias. She only wants a midget to stand by and watch as she strips naked to A HA's 'Take on Me'.....
If interested, let me know....
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