Friday, February 15, 2013



It had been an alright day. Given the circumstances. Day four of 'vacation' spent at my mom and dad's home. Well, now my mom's home now that my dad has unexpectedly gone away. Day four of foraging through my dad's clothing, his career, his hobbies, his seventy-three years of life. It was Valentine's Day. I cooked a good meal for Pam and my mom. Hey, it's what a guy does.

And, within that foraging, I find memories of my own. I'm forty-nine years old now. That's a lot of memories.

In addition, my wife, Pam, and I are helping my mom prepare to move into an assisted-living facility. It's going to be good for her. They have bingo and an ice cream bar. For me, personally, it's a lot to absorb. I'm rewinding memories of my life with both parents in multiple homes, visualizing my mom in an assisted-living facility and donating my deceased dad's clothing to Goodwill after going through each and every item of his clothing. By the way, let's not forget that stability isn't my best friend and I tend to keep my emotions and feelings bottled up like a shaken bottle of Dom Perrignon.


My mom said, "I'm not going to wear my C-Pap mask tonight. I'm congested. It hurts my nose."

I said, "Yes you are. If I have to wear one, so do you. They're all uncomfortable. I didn't come here to wake up one morning to find you didn't wake up because you were uncomfortable."

My mom's response..... "So, it's all about you....."


And suddenly, the week has no real meaning. I'm just here to babysit dogs.
I'm racked with guilt, yet again, as I have been for years.

Really? It's all about me? Because I want you to wake up tomorrow morning? What have I said or dont to cause you to believe that I am so shallow and conceited that I think everything is about me?

And, as my mother, where did this come from so suddenly? I mean, this was completely out of left field.

I don't have a lot to work with. I mean, I've done many things, granted. I've been places, had a couple of kids, I guess. I have a wonderful wife now. But overall, in the grand scheme of things, I ain't all that. So, why the 'it's all about you' diss?

Nothing is about me.



Words are worth a thousand memories.

1 comment:

  1. Jeff: Pay it no mind except to accept it as her way of letting some of her own pain out.
    Thoughts & Prayers to you all, Mom & Dad Roesener.