Friday, January 7, 2011

Something No One Will Understand ... Until the Very Last Sentence.

KA-fuckin'- CHING!

This was the sound that was generated by the Big Bang. Of course, in space, there is no sound. But, if one could imagine a sound as the Universe was formed, at the moment of inception, it was 'Ka-fuckin' Ching!"

No 'Boom'.
No 'KaBlam'
No 'Yowzaa'
No 'Holy Shit'

"Ka-fuckin'Ching!

......." and so, Earth was formed from nickel, copper, gold, silver and a cotton blend ..."

.... "and the masses clamored to be part of the earth... gathering the nickels, pennies, gold and quarters made of silver ... they marveled in their accumulation of wealth ... believing in the theory of 'Ka-fuckin'-Ching' as the origin of their being ..."

Or something like that ....

How much money was in your umbilical cord when you were born? I counted $0.97 on my first birthday. My mother placed a deposit on my delivery due to an office pool bet ... she lost but I still have the $0.97.
My sister only has $0.23 ... although my mom still claims that fifty cents is forthcoming ... My sister doesn't want to claim it...

In any case... all jokes aside ... this world wasn't created and formed out of any type of  currency. Why is it that now, and for countless generations before us, life on this planet isn't feasible without a product that wasn't spewed forth at the beginning of time?

"Oh, Jeff, great sage of immeasurable inane wisdom," you say ... "Tell us what we have longed to know for countless eons ...."

....well, okie doke.

In a nutshell, money causes otherwise sane, rational people to become greedy, irrational fucktards.

No matter that the one pointing the gun at you as he demands your wallet also gives to the Salvation Army out of the goodness of his heart ...

No matter that the bank executive that okayed the forclosure on your home watched his loved one die from the same ailment that the one he foreclosed upon is struggling to survive ...

No matter that the ones who faithfully support a pro sports team cannot afford to renew season tickets as players demands millions in incentives in order to 'survive' ...

The Big 'Ka-Ching' has already determined the winners .... and it's not you ... or me. At least for now.

This is a a personal message to one who views money, and stature and vindication as holy and right and a right of vindication ...

Damn ...I have so much to say, so much to offer .. so many opinions on the evils of the greed that is prevalent in the world ... let me think for a moment........ .......................................









Tell ya what ... how about i get profoundly personal? No one is going to read this anyway... so, what does it matter? ..... ......




.......... ..... I feel sorry for you. I admit, I made mistakes. But you, ... you ... you couldn't accept who I am. I am an imperfect man with ideals and ideas that are not society's norm. I ventured out on my own to discover life and you discarded me due to my newfound beliefs and my faults. I admit that I did things that hurt you. Hurt was inevitable ... becoming yourself and expressing yourself after years of inhibition will cause hurt. But, it was never my intention to do so. My finding another that accepted me foor who I am was  difficult. I understand that. However, your continued hatred for me and vindication towards me leads me  to believe that what we shared was never meant to last. ... Your disdain for me due to my discovering myself and the one I was destined to share a life with, I understand ... but uncondtional love would have grudgingly accepted this ...

Now, you share your distorted views of life and reality with our children. How much money will it take for our kids to be happy and fulfilled? No, how much money will it take for you to get satisfaction that I am finally beaten? To you, it is all about vindication and vindication is preceded by a dollar sign. Why do you view pain in dollar signs?

You won't win. Your breast implants, your Botox, your Mercedes, your Nordstrom shopping sprees ... they won't make you happy. I left you. I found myself. You lost. For once in your life, you lost. Tell our children that you lost but tell them that I won, in my own way. Swallow your pride and tell them that I did what you would have done if you were in my position. You weren't always such a self-centered, money-driven person. Do the right thing ... when all is said and done only actions and inactions matter ... your inactions are a result of your desire to save face and preserve status ...

You see, what money I have is irrelevant. You took all money and material possessions I have to make a point. I surrendered all. Money doesn't define me as it does you. By having nothing, I have everything. By losing the false love of those who expect me to be no more than a conversation piece in an effort to evolve, I evolve myself. I didn't lose anything, I gained everything. YOU lost everything. Our children are losing everything ... they don't know life as it should be known. Their failures will rest upon your shoulders if they are never to know the realities  and pains of life's sucker punches ... the hardships and the peculiararities that I can't explain ...

I feel sorry for you ...

Then again, when you wake up one day and are alone and miserable, I'll probably chuckle ... evil bitch. And I say that without any malice... really ...

.... You know what's amazing about this blog? You read it to the end. And, if you made it this far, you understand the pain and suffering of rejection, anger, retaliation and the need to put forth in words the anger, pain, resentment or any other feeling that holds you back in your  quest for self ....

It's late now... I think I might masturbate.

4 comments:

  1. Hey Jeff - this is very powerful. I was with you cheering right up to where you went negative on her - it's really best to stay in the experience of the good stuff that's happened for you. She may be the evil bitch you say she is and she may well end up alone - but don't wish it, just watch what happens. I am lucky I guess to have only gotten to know you in your current self - and I am glad you are free...I really really am. Have a wondrous weekend my friend.

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  2. So, what is "The Meaning of Life"? As much as I admire Monty Python's rendition, I believe you better hit the nail on the head! You, Jeff, it would seem, have found what we all seem to stumble through life trying to attain. She on the other hand is nothing more than a ceramic piggy bank just teetering on the edge of a shelf. In her current way of living she'll fall off of that shelf one day and shatter while you will remain whole and complete. Congratulations to you and may you enjoy a long and wonderful life!

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  3. Boy do I know a person who could benefit from this!! You go Jeff!

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  4. Well done! Your ex will most likely live a long and lonely life,I don't know to many men that want a middle age woman with baggage. I suspect she grew up getting everything she wanted or she did not have much and the money has gone to her head.

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