Friday, September 13, 2013

The Westboro Baptist Church Vs. The Calendar

Yesterday was September 11, 2013. Yesterday also marked twelve years since the tragedy of the 9/11 attacks in New York, Washington, DC and the horrific crash in Pennsylvania.

But, leave it to Westboro. Fast Five Freddy and the Funky Bunch of the Westboro Baptist Church decided to picket. It seems reasonable that the haters of humanity and all things having to do with harmony would picket on a day of remembrance of a day of sorrow caused by hatred.

But no, not this time. Fred and Marge, citing America's adoption of gay rights, homosexual marriage, BOGO sales at JC Penney during the Christmas season and their everlasting qualms with Clarence Thomas and his 'Pepsi Can, pubic hair' controversy' rallied the Westboro congregation. All eighty-nine or so members who could get time off from their jobs at Target, Wal-Mart and Chik-fil-A gathered with mis-spelled signs in Yonkers, NY, to protest the 9/11 memorial activities in New York City.

However, while the group's reasons for picketing in Yonkers (three members showed up in Harlem) is not known, what is even more perplexing is the reasoning for the picketing.

According to Marge Phelps, "We are showing our disdain for continued celebration... nay, almost a holiday, on a day ... lets call it September 11, that God smote a country full of fags. So, really, we are picketing the calendar, We are picketing the Gregorian Calendar."

Yes, you read that correctly.

Fred Phelps added, "The Gregorian Calendar was developed by  Pope Gregory, a Christian, who was a Catholic. You know them Catholics. They like them little boys and they're sinners. I know that the Calendar was meant to put Easter, God Bless Easter, where it is every year.... and we like it where it is 'cause it's perfect in Spring.... But other than that, the Gregorian Calendar is a sham! It's full of the devil's lies! Except for Christmas."

FOX News caught up with an unidentified member of the WBC as he shouted, "Ain't No Way You Gonna Make My Day!" The woman, known only as 'Tammy', stated that she wouldn't buy another calendar with September on it if it had an '11' on it.

"It ain't right" she said. "Why do we gotta remember God hates this country because of the fags every year? Damn, Jesus oughtta kill everybody now and get it over with"

So as we move further into September and closer towards Halloween when the crazies come out of the closets, let us keep in mind the Gregorian Calendar and the Westboro Baptist Church and try to distinguish who are the crazies and why Marge and Freddie are so fag-driven. I'm betting there's a pubic hair or two between their teeth.

No comments:

Post a Comment