Monday, July 22, 2013

You Can Call Him Al

Al Sharpton. A portly man. One might say a man built for the ladies lacking sight.
Albert. Not to be confused with Bill Cosby's "Fat Albert" although given a few years, and a few grey hairs, the two might mesh.

Al Sharpton was born in a cave in Kentucky. His mother, unknown, and his father, unknown, each grabbed his head in tandem and pulled for approximately seventeen hours before young Al breached the birth canal. As legend has it, when Al's head first breached the birth canal and he took his first breath outside of the womb, he didn't cry.

Proud parents, Frank and Lillian, recall that young Al's first words were "werdeblacpeplat"...
"It was amazing.. who could imagine a child talking at birth?" ... Said Frank

From them on, Al was meant to ask the same questions. Despite the circumstances. Al was determined to comb his hair, which was unusually fine, and play a card that had no Jack.

Then, On a day like no other, a ray of light shone down upon Al. It was a ray of light shining through the clouds. Ray had a couple of Long Island Iced Teas that day, but, fuck, he swore it was God. Suddenly, He became, the Reverend Al Sharpton. And he had a holy shit strand of silver hair running through his hair.

Now, this shit got serious for Al. Not just Al, but for the world. Well, not the world, just the gullible world. Well, not the gullible world, just the gullible, stupid, uneducated world.

So, Al now is a celebrity. Whatever That means. He's a black man with an opinion. Like I'm a white  man with an opinion.

Al Sharpton has been a boil on the backside of race relations as long as the Klan as been making hoods,
Why must we continue to listen to this racist, bigoted ass?

He's Archie Bunker without the humor.   Plus, he's an idiot.

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