Thursday, May 12, 2011

A Friendly Note

Friends. That was a wonderful TV series. A plethora of wonderful fads were born as a result of those six beautiful people. Hell, I myself wore 'the Rachel' haircut for a week or so until it interfered with my ability to eat grilled cheese sandwiches.

Friends. A word we all relish. We all can hear our parents telling us at a very young age that 'you can never have too many' of them. Or in my case, 'you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose'.... Love ya mom.

Yet, what is a friend, really? Let me inject my opinion....

Fuck if I know. Yeah, I don't know what a friend is.

You see, I grew up in a simple time... a time when friends stabbed you in the back then took a bullet for you later because they felt guilty for stabbing you in the back. A time when a friend would blame you for killing a neighbor's cat, even though you didn't do it because he knew that you'd be loyal as a friend, just like he was loyal when he fibbed about you feeling up his sister on the family camping trip.

Yeah, just like that... friendship.

No more, my friends. That type of friendship is non-existent. You want to be a friend now, you'd better be prepared to pay up later. Unconditional friendship is like sex between two midgets using king-sized condoms and latex.

No, I have no connection between the two, they just seemed fanciful to me. You get the idea. Friendship now is all take, take, take. Or, depending on which side you're on, it's give, give give. You get my point, there's not banter between give and take.

I'll be honest, I'm ne of those who readily spews without regard. Yet, I'm always available to collect a friends sputem with a Hefty bag, if necessary.

We all want friends... we all want someone who will listen to our inane rants, be there for us when we are hopeless, listen to us when we make no sense. The tricky part is being there for others who consider us a friend when they are as disturbed as we are. No one's problems are ever as fucky as yours when you need someone. Heh.... Yeah, right....

Want to be a firend? You don't have to hug and offer encouragement. Sure, a blowjob might help, but it isn't necessary... Wanna be a friend? Just say, "I'm here ... "...That's it. Two words. You don't necessarily wanna hear all of my daily shit any mkore than I wanna hear yours, but I'll tell you this, If you need me,. as a friend, I'll listen... I'm here.

Right after the replay of 'The young and The Restless' at 7:00... otherwise.....

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