Thursday, May 19, 2011

Tick Tock

T-minus 48 hours .....

That's what's left for humankind to experience life and love and hopefully gratifying oral sex on this planet before the 'Big Guy' kills us off like termites under the Orkin man's spray bottle.
Or, so says a certain end-of-days minister claiming that May 21st is the end-all day for humankind.

Now, I'm no fuddy-duddy.. I'm just a duddy... but, I think Mr. Christian is a bit off base in his thinkin'.

However, I'm not adverse to taking advantage of irrational thinking. I take advantage of my own irrational thinking on a daily basis.

On may 21st, I'll be working... bartending. Most likely, at the moment of innhialation, I'll be drawing a Guinness from the tap while ESPN blares the latest baseball scores. How fitting it would be if the world ended as a man sipped a beer at peace as irrelevant sports facts were scrolled on the bottom of a sceen for the masses to care less about.

Eh, not so much.

Pfffffffffffffft .... who really cares what happens if the world ends? Sounds harsh, I know. But, what does it matter who wins games or awards or other meaningless  shit?

Believe it or not, I gave a thought to this today. Yes, me of uncaring mind ( take that, children o' mine). I know, my thinking is a bit off the wall but my wall is in a raquetball court, so bouncing around is the norm.
Yeah, I know, everyone gives a thought to what they'd do if tomorrow was the last day of life... yada, yada, yada.... I'm not trying to claim anything new and novel here. We've all been there and done that ..

.... "I'd spend the day with my kids...."
...." I'd take the day off and play golf...."
.... "I'd whip a midget and masturbate to Kasey Kasem's hits of the 60's..."

Yeah, all those and more...

My life ends each day when I close my eyes. My life begins each day when I open my eyes. And, in the time in between those times, my life ends and begins in succession hundred of times.
Bring on the hurricanes, earthquakes and atom bombs ... they are all but major disruptions to the minor disruptions that matter each day.

I looked at the love of my life tonight as she hugged a body pillow and drooled upon it.
I have no money because of the greed and vindictiveness of an ex who hates me
My dog licked my face after licking his ass
I found gray hairs on my feet

Yet, I'm ready to die a horrific death as a result of God's Wrath on May 21sr if that's what 's meant to happen.

Why? Because this is my life and this is my happiness. I accept who I am and where I am am what I have. I have found what I need... I have found unconditional love. I don't need a belief in anything other that that to know that if May 21st brings total destruction I have all I need to make it to where I need to be.

As for semantics, May 21st still falls within National Masturbation month. The Big Bang is but a whack job in God's plan ... maybe we'll go out with a 'bang' in a good way....

For me, I'm hitting the yard sales of those 'end-time' fanatics... plenty of good porn to be found....

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