Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Meeting Adjourned

"Meeting adjourned! Now, who's up for drinks and calamari at Capital Grille? Show of hands!"

Awkward pause......

"Ok, I count 17 on the left and.... 48.... uh, 50, 53, 54, 55 on the right. Capital Grille at 5pm. All in favor say "Yay!"

..... 'yeah, 'yay'.

"I didn't hear anyone! We just passed landmark legislation to shut down government and overwhelm our President! So, Capital Grille at 5! All in favor say 'Yay!'

... 'yay!'

"Okay then! The first round of Bloody Bama's and Oyster Rockefellers are on me! Let's Party! We're done here, fellas! We just saved America and the dumb bastards don't even know it! We are GODS!"

And so it was today as sequestration began. Republicans rejoiced as they rejoiced in their victory for the people of America. Although the people of America were not even on their minds, the sequester began for the ones hoping that the government would run out of money simply to prove a point.... a point meant to show a President that his solution to a problem that he inherited and has been trying rectify with the means at his disposal isn't good enough for the ones with their own agendas.

Solution: Shut it all down and make many more live unlivable.

It's now that I wish Abraham Lincoln and George Washington and Thomas Jefferson were around to up a boot up the asses of these government officials. It's about time for another civil war, for different reasons, this time to overthrow the dipshits in control of this country. I've seen better bartering at swap meets.

Yet tonight, there are oysters being slurped in congratulatory style. High fives being slapped over martinis and I'm sure a Cosmo or two. One or two are popping Viagra or Cialis in anticipation of a night of debauchery with their mistress or a hooker that we pay for with tax money while tomorrow the pink slips that are being printed tonight are making their way to offices nationwide.

No more National Parks for the tourists either. Sorry, guys. I'm glad I saw Gettysburg last week.

You blow donkey dicks, Congress. I disown you, much like my children disown me. Run to your banks and corporations who love you and fund you. Sooner or later, they'll be all you have because the millions of Americans you lie to will wake up, and your sorry asses will be here, with us, cowering for money from the very ones you cower to.

Bastards. Enjoy your Oysters.

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