Sunday, October 10, 2010

Welcome to My World

I'm realizing that I'm a minority. No, I'm saying that I'm a minority because I'm a white, middle-aged male in America, although that may very well be the case. I'm saying that I'm in the minority because I am a white, middle-aged male with a diagnosed mental condition ... a diagnosis that is both a curse and a blessing. There are thousands like me ... both men and women ... that are ignored, shunned, overlooked, discarded and otherwise cast aside as worthless individuals. What is this terrible, ungodly affliction? Could it be that our inability to grasp the principles of algebra or our lack of concern for the growing national deficit define us as mindless, unknowing freewheeling lackeys? Maybe it is our radical idea that power, money and control are unimportant concepts after awaking from a depression-induced overdose of mood-enhancing medications.

Maybe, just maybe, the 'normal' reality that seems so remote to us as we watch those that live seemingly 'normal' lives is not normal at all but is juxtaposed to what is real and that our reality is what is right and true.

Deep shit, eh?

Welcome to the mind of the manic-depressive.It is 2:19am in the morning and my manic-depressive mind is racing. You see, there are many like me that are constantly thinking and trying to justify those thoughts. Sadly, many haven't reached the point of clarity. Tragically, many have reached that point of clarity .. a point that comes with a cost. Ironically, the gift of clarity is attainded only through loss of things held dear. It's different for everyone ... Money. Career. Relationships. Pride. Life.

The true irony is that those of us who are said to 'suffer' from bi-polar disorder are actually visionaries. We are nature's gifts to a world of conformists. We aren't suffering from anything at all ... we are normal. It is the world at large that looks at individualists like ourselves as ones that are different. We are shunned and looked upon as 'crazy' and undependable. We are free-thinkers, radicals, liberals, visionaries, criminals, dissidents. Nah, we are shapers of the human mind. We are the ones who will shape the future becase we will not put ourselves or our humanity in a box and expect it to conform to expectations.

I'm not preaching. I'm crazy. I'm bi-polar. I'm nuckin' futs. It's now 2:30am and I'm sleepy.

Time to deprive myself of sanity for the day ahead. We walk among you. We will outsmart you. Before you dismiss the next outlandish words you hear or see, open your mind and kick down a wall to that box you live inside ... we will welcome you to our world and you will thrive ....


  1. I understand, more than you know. I'll try write more today, but I can't during a sneezing fit.

  2. Very well put, thank you.