Sunday, October 31, 2010

Peru, I am a Fan

Uh oh ... Peru is pissed. The entire country is livid and will possibly halt all trade with the United States due to their pissed-offedness. The Peruvian embassies within our land are calling for a revolution due to the utterance of a sentiment by a fictional character on the fictional television series, 'Modern Family'.

The offending dialogue comes during an argument between Jay, played by Ed O'Neill, and his Colombian wife Gloria, played by Sofia Vergara.

"Now, maybe in Colombia ..." Jay begins.

"Ah, here we go," Gloria interrupts. "Because, in Colombia, we trip over goats and we kill people in the street. Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!"

Oh. My God. this is just not acceptable ... (note my sarcasm). What is more unacceptable is the response by a respresentative of the Peruvian community here in the good 'ol U.S of A, the land of free speech.
"It's incredible that in a country where everything is politically correct, ABC would have a line of this sort," said Milagros Lizarraga, founder of Peru USA Southern Ca, an online community that communicates through social media.
Excuse me, Mr. Lizarraga, did you just say that we are a country where everything is politically correct? You sure as shit did. And for that, I give you props. You exposed the truth about this country of ours ... "Speak NOT and forever hold your tongue." Or something like that.
Now, I personally like Peru. I have a friend in Peru who expedites a monthly order, or two, of anti-depression products. All totally legal. The country has it's problems though. There are goats and, believe it or not, there are murders. Just because we live in Utopia and only dream of goats and have no murder doesn't mean we can speak of imagined things in other nations.
Wait, we might have goats. But certainly not murder. I watch enough 'COPS' on late night TV to know that murder never happens because the good guys intervene before a life is taken. And I'll tell ya ... If ever I'm watching Univision or Telemundo or KrautVision or any other national telecast and a program indicates that my country has people who raise chickens and drive mini-vans and suggest that we have overcrowded prisons filled with less-than-admirable people ... well, then I am going straight to that embassy to file a complaint.
How dare a fictional character on a sitcom suggest that life is less than ideal in any country. I had no idea that Peru was Heaven. I had an idea, due to the coca fields, that it was close. But, to suggest that there are goats and murder? So wrong, so very wrong. That's like saying that Germany harbored Nazis during World War Two and America is full of people not living the American dream of forclosure and job loss.
ABC, if you're listening, add a goat to your cast and have the family kill the goat to feed the family after unemployment benefits expire after Ed O'Neill loses his job. Them possibly, you'll appear to be politically correct. And then, when you become politically correct, you will lose your soul.

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